amazing grace.

Wow. Yesterday's post was way longer than I'd planned. I guess when there's a decade's worth of thoughts swirling around to process, it's going to be lengthier than your average post. Also, I'm verbose. So while I'm not surprised, I am going to try to keep things short and sweet today. We'll see how that goes. Verbose, remember?

This morning I got up and went to confession, just feeling the need to get a really stellar start on this year, on this decade. And really, even just a good start on my day, week, and month! Point being, I needed the grace the Sacrament brings. And oh muh goodness, did God ever deliver.

From the moment I knelt down, I could just feel God's grace and forgiveness showering over me. The priest asked all the right questions and said everything I needed to hear (most of it, however, being things I didn't want to hear). Tears were rolling down my cheeks from the time I said, "Bless me Father for I have sinned" straight through to when the priest said, "I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit." I just kept getting this overwhelming feeling that God is fighting for me right now. He knows I am restless, He knows I am hurt, He knows I am clueless. And yet He fights.

Last night I watched the movie "Taken" with my sisters and brother-in-law. If you haven't seen it and want to, stop reading. If you have, or if you don't mind hearing the ending, keep reading. The daughter of a former spy type man is abducted when she is on vacation in Paris and the movie is all about how he and his crazyface skills manage to get her back. She had been kidnapped, drugged, and was being sold into some sort of sex trafficking operation. When he finally gets her back, she is on a boat that he has managed to jump on to and kill several men on board that were barriers to her. When she sees him, she cannot hold the tears back and in disbelief says, "You came for me." Or something to that effect. I was crying myself so I can't be expected to remember it precisely. Anyhow, she knows exactly how dangerous the people that had a hold of her were, how much her father had to have gone through to get her. She can barely believe he managed to do it, yet I do think on some level she knew he'd find her. And he says to her, "Of course I came for you." Again, I may be paraphrasing.

This morning as I walked to the car after confession (and wondered if the tears would freeze to my face, it was SO COLD out), I was grateful for a God that would do anything to save me. Who did do anything to save me. You know, since He died for me and all. This morning I was surrounded by the love of a God who, despite my sinfulness fights for me, and awestruck I hear Him say, "Of course I do."