You know what happens when you assume...

I'm gonna do a little series. And by series, I mean a two part entry. Because I go on and on, and you don't have the stamina to read it all at once.

The series will address:

1) How I hate when people make assumptions based on what I have or do.
2) How I hate when people make comments that sound like they think me buying a house means I've given up on getting married.

Let's start with the whole assumptions thing. Remember what they say happens when you assume? It makes an ass out of u and me. Well, here, it just makes an ass out of you. And by you, I mean whoever is making the assumptions. I have had more than a few people make comments about things I have, trips I take, etc., that go something like, "Wow, you have a lot of nice things for being a youth minister." Here's the deal: I would be making at least twice what I make in this job if I had continued working a "regular job." Because of the occupation I have been called to and the salary that goes with it, I do not have the money to buy a ton of nice stuff. But I do have some nice things. And if you have ever really spent any time talking to me at all, you'd know that I probably got a good deal on every last bit of it.

I'm not kidding, people. My roommates would laugh at me because I would call the cable company and get them to reduce our bill without changing our services at all. I'd literally call and say, "How can you adjust what we're paying? What are the specials?" I also, no lie, came home one day with a dozen boxes of cereal (including high end, $4.75 a box stuff) and a gallon of milk, and I'd paid about $5 total. I bought my first Honda Civic in 1997, my dad negotiated that price. I bough the same exact car in 2003 and paid the same exact price, through my own negotiations. I don't buy anything online without looking for coupon codes first. I do my research before I buy something. I am thrifty and thorough. And through this, I've managed to have nice things but not pay big prices for them.

Most recently, I bought a Coach purse. I've wanted one for years. They are cute, durable, and have my first initial on them, so that makes them even better. I'd looked in the past but could NEVER afford one, not even close. Well, the outlet near me had a ridic sale and I got a purse, wallet, and wristlet all for 50% off the lowest price on the tickets. I also recognized that a) I'd wanted some Coach stuff for quite some time, b) I'll not be able to justify the expense when I have a mortgage, c) These prices are rare d) With the exception of some Vera Bradley I own (and got at great discount) I've never paid more than $20 for a purse, and e) The purse is pink. So, I made my purchase. I used Christmas money from work and from my parents, so while I know it was not a practical purchase, it was an okay one...these people wanted me to do something for myself with that money! But I realized when I went to Mass where I work the other day that I didn't want to bring my purse in with me. I didn't want people to make assumptions upon seeing it. I know I need to get over that, because it is my purse and I really like it. And given the chance, I'll totally out myself about the fact that I got it for a great deal.

A few other examples:

1) My London trips. I think I went to London each year for the first three years I was in my job. Well, my parents lived there, I got tickets dirt cheap and then never had to spend much when I got there.
2) My Italy trip. I saved up, used Christmas money, and some folks decided to give me money towards my trip. Using that, I scrimped so much that the 8 day trip, travel and lodging included, barely cost $1000 total. We had the trip of a lifetime but used public transportation, stayed in convents (or, really, hotels run by nuns), always just bought something at a shop for lunch instead of sitting down at a restaurant, and went in the off season.
3) My Sarasota trips. I go every year. It is glorious, it is paradise. It is also a condo that belongs to my parents (and for the use of it I am EXTREMELY grateful!). I just pay for food and car rental. It is a highlight of my year and a huge blessing.
4) My ipod. It is about three years old, I hemmed and hawed about getting it for three years, and use it ALL the time.
5) My DSLR. A Canon Rebel. Had drooled for years, wanting it....and my whole family got together and surprised me with it one year for Christmas. Mostly because they wanted me to keep taking good pictures of the kiddies :)
6)My "fancy" phone. I was several months beyond my new every two, got a good price plus a rebate.
7) Nicer clothes. I made a conscious decision to stop building my wardrobe at Old Navy and to grow up and hop on the Ann Taylor train. Please know that everything I've bought there was at an outlet or on sale. It is against my religion to pay full price. The Pope totally backs me on this.
8) THE HOUSE. Oh for the love. I'll lay it out here, people. First of all, prices are lower than they have been in ages, and if I don't jump on it now, I won't ever be able to. I don't have any debt because I was smart about paying it all down several years ago, including paying off my car. I've never lived in crazy high-rent situations so I've been able to put money away. Make no mistake -- it is still going to be a huge expense, and one that will probably leave me with very little money at the end of the month, but it is an investment I want to make.

I might sound a little heated, but I'm just a smidge sick of the off-handed comments about what I have. I work hard for my money, so hard for it honey. I work hard for my money so you better treat me right.

So, before people look at the ipod-listening, "cool phone"-having Coach-carrying, mortgage-paying youth minister and say, "Well, she clearly gets paid too much," or "She must be racking up the debt," stop and think. Know that I get everything on sale, and have just planned well to do what I'm doing. Also know there will likely come a time in the near future that I am living on lentil soup, cous cous, and love, to make all this possible.